Handbook for the Uber-Paranoid Combat Wife

Step 1: OPSEC
Remember: You don't know anything. And be sure not to tell anyone anything you *do* know!

Step 2: Location
Identify his location. Is he on a large FOB (forward operating base)? Is he in a certain town or village? Go to Global Security - Iraq: Land Component Locations page and find the FOB or town. Also, Global Security - Iraq: US Forces Order of Battle gives locations of major units, but I've found it to be sometimes innacurate or not as fully detailed as I need.

Step 3: Maps
Get some good maps of Iraq, or of his specific location and surrounding towns if you can. Here are some good ones from:
University of Texas
Global Security
National Geographic
Arab Gateway

Step 4: Internet Research
Using Google and Yahoo, do some thorough research on the FOB, town, and unit. Bookmark any milblogs from soldiers in the area. Look for common alternate spellings of town names. Learn what province the town is in (Diyala, Salah ad Din, Babil, Al Anbar, etc). Certain areas have nicknames, such as the "Sunni Triangle" north of Baghdad, the "Triangle of Death" south of Baghdad - which you should note also.

Step 5: Trolling the News
Set up "news alerts" through your favorite search engine or news site (I like Yahoo! News Alerts). By creating news alerts for the town name, unit name, and FOB name - you will receive any published reports including these search terms. They usually come a couple of times daily, with links and brief descriptions of each article.

Step 6: Panic Time
When you hear something on the TV/radio that makes your hair stand on end, or you get that "for no good reason" hair standing on end, do this:

1. Check Iraq Coalition Casualty Count website: This site keeps a synopsis of all published articles of Iraq casualties and is updated constantly. As soon as a casualty has been announced, you can usually identify province or general location, and sometimes even the major unit involved. If it isn't your area or unit - stop worrying.

2. Check US Department of Defense News Releases website: They announce casualties promptly, usually with unit and location information even before they can release the name - is it before the family is notified? Maybe...

3. Remember the combat wife's #1 common sense rule: No news is good news! If you haven't heard from him, and it has been long enough for you to begin to worry, AND nobody is knocking on your door.... RELAX. You would have been notified by now, and he may only be on comm blackout because of something that happened in his AO (area of operations).

Following the Handbook for the Uber-Paranoid Combat Wife will result in EITHER:
- less stress for you, because you'll know when *NOT* to freak out;
OR
- a total and complete nervous breakdown.

Dear Principal,

Thank you so much for the call this afternoon! Although you seemed certain that I would be equally disturbed by Number Two's actions, I wholeheartedly disagree with you. The yearbook belongs to Number Two - it is his property. Therefore, if he wants to draw horns or write insults on anyone's photo, that is his business. As long as he does not make threats or use any type of disparaging hate speech, I have no problem with it - and neither should you. Any sensible person would agree that making a speech bubble next to the class bully's name with the words "I am stupid" is well within a person's right to free speech.

Thank you for violating Number Two's civil rights and ruining his day, and please send similar regards to the teacher who found his private musings while thumbing through his book when he asked her to sign it. As soon as I pick him up this afternoon, I will be drawing horns and mustaches on both of your photos to commemorate this event.

Regards,
Number Two's mother

Memorial Day

Grab your kleenex if you're heading over to read Blackfive's piece about Taps and Memorial Day.

Some days when I haven't heard from Autie in a while, I start to get worried. Then I'll search all of the news sites - looking for the name of his town or FOB or unit. And when I find it reported that something bad has happened there, I am afraid to go home. I'm afraid to pull in to the driveway and see that government car waiting for me. Sometimes I'll drive by the neighborhood, trying to look down the street to see if anyone is parked there before I go back and turn in. Sometimes I run as many errands as I can think of to delay going home and rounding that curve. I have never told him this - he would probably laugh.

I know the statistical safety of this war, and that does reassure me. But I still worry.

"It is infinitely worse to be left behind, a prey to all the horrors of imagining what may be happening to one we love."
-Elizabeth Bacon Custer, wife of Gen. George Armstrong Custer

9... 8... 7...countdown to R&R

I am feverishly counting down the days to Autie's R&R leave arrival! Where is my fairy godmother? And why has she not cleaned my house yet???

Besides decluttering the house, I'm trying to do a little last minute body-decluttering as well. Giving that South Beach Diet a try, at least the first two weeks of Step 1 torture. No bread, pasta, potatoes, etc. But also no fruit or milk!!!! Apparently, I eat a lot of fruit and milk and the absence of these two sustenances have been quite painful for me!!! Not trying to lose weight, just trying to boost the metabolism and lose a little love handle.

Heading down to the lake with the boys after work today, and looking forward to some mental rest! Although, I was disappointed to realize the SBD also does not allow BEER!

Making a difference

My women's club had our last meeting of the season last night. We granted the proceeds of all of our work this year to several local charities: hearing aids for 90+ newborns, 800 pairs of pajamas for foster children, summer camp for blind teenagers, adaptive therapy equipment for severely handicapped children, two computers for a group supporting deaf teens, 400 items of clothing for at-risk infants and toddlers. Just hearing the stories of these workers who devote all of their time to these children.... it will break your heart. We worked so hard this year - sometimes pulling all-nighters on a big project, or missing one of our own kid's activities to get to a meeting - and it was so gratifying to see what became of those efforts.

It is selfish to say, but I feel just wonderful today thinking of putting a little goodness into each one of those children's lives. And I also feel a little guilty that I can't do more. It was also farewell to this year's officers and installation of next year's officers, which includes me! I am a little worried that I'll be overwhelmed by the job... we'll see. With Autie gone, I have time on my hands to devote to the club.

They also gave out our big annual award... and guess who got it? I can't believe they picked me.

Squid babies

Will Your Kid Be a Navy Seal? Blackfive links this hilarious essay from a proud daddy of a future Frogman, Tony Woodlief.

Number Two has expressed a desire to be a Navy Seal for the last couple of years, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. It is my hope that at least one of the boys follows Autie and Pop into the military, and Number Two would definitely benefit from the structure and discipline of military service.

I love GI Jane

US panel backs off ban on women in combat roles

Autie and I are going to totally disagree on this one! I think if they can carry the load, execute the mission, and meet the *same standards* the men do... then women should be allowed in combat roles. I know plenty of women who are bigger, stronger, and more physically capable than the majority of men. If they can do the job, let them.

As a society, we may not be "emotionally mature" enough to handle women and men serving together in combat. I love the chivalrious tradition of men protecting women, but it has no place in combat. Many recent military scandals further prove that the average GI is not ready for co-ed (Lindie England, anyone?). If everybody can't keep their pants on, it isn't going to work.

When african-americans began to be allowed to serve in the military, they had all-black units. When asian-americans wanted to serve during WWII, they had their own units in some cases.

How about an all-female infantry company? An all-female special forces team? Would it work? Maybe - maybe not. But it would be interesting...

"But Mom! I have cognitive limitations!!"

Good grief!

Why Teens are Lousy at Chores
"Finally researchers have come up with a reason other than pure laziness for why teenagers can't shower and brush their teeth or unload the dishwasher and wipe down the counter. Blame it on 'cognitive limitations.' Their brains can't multitask as well as those of the taskmasters."

I didn't know researchers were surveiling my house! But seriously, my boys are fine with multi-tasking, it is the nit-picky analysis that drives me crazy: "But Mom! You said to put the dishes in the dishwasher. You didn't say anything about washing out the sink or wiping down the counter!"

Cognitive limitations?!? I'll give you some cognitive limitations, kiddo! :)

The J-Lo factor

So I'm heating up my lunch in the breakroom, and looking at my rear end in the reflection off the snack machine glass. Is my butt bigger?

I figure since Autie left.... let's see:
- started working out at the end of October, so that is about 30 weeks of working out 4 or 5 days a week... and I do legs one day a week
- I do four sets of lunges (with weights!) 10-12-15-10 so that is 47 lunges each leg day

47 x 30 = 1,410
1,410 lunges. If he doesn't think my butt is bigger, I'm going to scream. It is so frustrating to put in so much effort and not be able to see the results!

Twisting statistics

According to a research study by the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute, "Children from military families are twice as likely to die from severe abuse as other children are".

What a load of crap.

You have to read carefully to find the truth:

"Overall, North Carolina had 378 abuse murders of children in this age group, for a annual rate of 2.2 deaths per 100,000 children. In Cumberland County -- home to Fort Bragg and Pope Air Force Base -- the abuse murder rate for children of military families was five deaths per 100,000 children, more than double the state average. The rate for children from non-military families living in Cumberland County was also higher than the state average. "

"In Onslow County -- home to Camp LeJeune/New River Air Station -- the annual abuse murder rate for children of military families was 4.9 per 100,000. The rate for non-military children in Onslow County was also higher than the state average."

So, I decided to check out the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute (NCCAI) and see what they are all about...

These excerpts are from their mission statement:

"Special attention is devoted to helping those children whose futures predictably will be diminished by the circumstances of their young lives – unless well-intentioned, well-crafted and well-implemented public interventions occur."

"We believe that the quality of children’s lives largely is determined by a broad array of adults both those directly involved in their development and those whose influence is indirect, yet powerful."

Hmmm.... sounds like "It takes a village..."! I wonder how much effort the NCCAI has put into getting abused children OUT of North Carolina foster care and into healthy and suitable homes?

More information about what our soldiers and military families are doing for needy children:
Airmen Open Heart, Home to Children in Need
Soldiers Visit Orphanage Bearing Gifts, Medical Aid

Counting down the days...

Autie has been notified of his R&R leave date - and how much notification do I get??? DAYS. Days - only days... I can barely contain myself. :D :D :D I will never have the house clean enough in time, but oh well! Something tells me he won't care. The boys are excited, too - but I can see the anxiety in their faces. It has been a long, long time since we've had Autie home for more than a couple of days... and they don't know what to feel.

Am I nervous? Yes - truth be told, I am. The *idea* of Autie being here thrills me, but the reality of having him actually home is a little scary. It has been a long, long time...