Who has time for this?

Obviously, not me!

I thought it would be nice to have a blog - a place to write down all the things I obsess about... stuff I would normally tell Autie if I could have normal conversations with him. Maybe an archive of what we've gone through all these months....

But I don't have time. And to tell you the truth, I don't really have anything interesting to say. The news is full of war protests and political wrangling, and I really don't give a shit about any of it. Those people can jostle and scream all they want.... they don't exist in my reality.

Reality is: Autie is there, we are here. Every morning we wake up, get to school and work, then go back home and do it all over again. And through all our activities, I worry and worry and worry. Sometimes I hear from Autie, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I freak out and spend hours scanning the news and the internet looking for something to freak out about. But mostly I'm just tired.

I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of being a happy, healthy, attractive 30-something year old woman who wants to sleep with her husband - but doesn't have sex for months and months and months on end (LOLOL!). I'm tired of raising three boys by myself. Good boys who are smart and happy, but who try my patience and run over me all the time.

I am tired of the news and the protestors and the Army and the war. I want Autie to come home... NOW. I want him to come home and wash the car. I want him to come home and spank these boys when they are out of line. I want him to come home so I can roll over and make love with him so I can get some sleep.